a prayer for my brother

Dear God,

Please continue to protect Jonathan along with the rest of the guys as they shine for you this week in the D.R. I know you have insanely awesome plans for them to change lives in your name. Keep their hearts open and their minds at ease. Break Jon this week, Lord. Show him your face and the beauty of your world outside what he knows. Thank you for blessing me with the brother I never had and always wanted!

Always,
Rach

sitting in the mac store

Hello hello blogging world. So I'm sitting in the mac store at the summit, waiting forever and a day to have my laptop fixed, and I thought I would write about my recent thoughts, ponders and what nots.

First off, I have several friends who have been going through a whole lot of hurt recently. That of course brings my attention back to the classic question: How can a loving God allow bad things to happen to good people? Why did he let Adam and Eve take fruit from the tree?

The best explanation I've ever heard is that without pain and suffering, we wouldn't know the goodness that is our heavenly father. If Adam and Eve hadn't sinned and cursed humanity forever, we wouldn't know the power of his grace. That gift is a significant part of what makes christianity so wonderful. God's unfailing love and grace provides a sanctuary in this hateful, sinful world.

There's a quote by Mother Theresa that sits on my dear friend, Frances' desk. It reads the following: "I know that God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." I freakin' love that quote! It is so accurate and.....I don't know just perfect.

Another thought.... we've been studying the enlightenment period in cultural perspectives and I just finished reading Candide by Voltaire. Histerical. Although I think voltaire was definitely an extremist, I agree with him on a lot of points. The "enlightened" people (I guess you'd say that? enlightenmentists is so not a word) developed this new concept of optimism, that all things happened for the overall good. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but there's a fine line between God's plan and being lazy. It's one thing to say, "Okay. That didn't go my way, but I know that God has a plan." It's completely different to believe that you have to put forward no effort in anything because God's will will be done.

Just think...if we all had that attitude, then there would be no overseas missions, or any missions at all. We still need to live like Christ did.... live to love.

Always,

Rachel

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room.

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

"happiness"

the fray sings a song titled "happiness" that i just spent a while dissecting. these are the lyrics...

happiness is just outside my window
would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking
on your door, and you just let it in?

happiness feels a lot like sorrow
let it be, you can't make it come or go
but you are gone- not for good but for now
gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
happiness was never mine to hold
careful child, light the fuse and get away
cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

happiness damn near destroys you
breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
so you tell yourself, that's probably enough for now
happiness has a violent roar

happiness is like the old man told me
look for it, but you'll never find it all
but let it go, live your life and leave it
then one day, wake up and she'll be home
home, home, home

when i first heard it, i literally had no idea what the words were saying. then today as i listened i caught something deeper, and i looked up the lyrics. this song is so beautiful. it's about the difference between happiness and contentment. here is a quote i found after researching what other people saw as the true song meaning.

"true happiness is not something one looks for. ponder this...when one is sad, isn't it more likely that the person will search frantically for a way to get from it? that happiness isn't real. real happiness is like falling in love, like getting great unexpected news. and the main reason for all of those things is because you aren't searching for it."

happiness is based on circumstances whereas contentment is eternal. we have to learn to live life not constantly seeking happiness to fulfill our hearts, because that won't bring it to us...but by remaining content with the life God's given to us. We have to learn to be content in all circumstances. paul wrote something about that too...

"For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:11-13

Always,
Rachel

letting go

i think i'm on the brink (right phrase?) of letting go of something that i've held onto for far too long.

if this works out, it's going to be the end to the most joyful, heart-wrenching, exhilarating, strenuous, necessary experience of my life so far.

i have so many faults, but i am a very loyal person.
i have a hard time deciphering between what hurts me and what i have a commitment to.

i've gotten this close to letting go before and backed down, but this time it feels different.
i'm ready to move on.

little miracles

As we grow up and life gets more complicated with all the new distractions, it becomes more difficult to keep our hearts on fire for God. And a lot of times we sit begging for a sign or something just to remind us that the big guy really is out there. So, I just wanted to share with you all something on my mind.

We've been having some frigid temperatures down here in the south for the first time in who knows how long. I was supposed to travel home this weekend to see my sister perform in the GPS/McCallie Winter One Acts, but was unable to go today and most likely still won't be able to travel tomorrow due to the icy roads. I was really frustrated with my parents' decision until around 1:00 today when I got a phone call from my mom and sister.

They called and told me that around 12 they had headed out to see a movie in one car, with my dad following behind them to run some errands. For those of you who haven't been to my house, it requires going up two hills, the first of which over the course of the past 24 hours had been covered with a clear sheet of ice, invisible from a distance. My mom and sister didn't see it and started to slide down the first hill entering my neighborhood, which leads straight out onto an already dangerous intersection onto Hixson Pike (right after the S curves). My mom made the risky, but intelligent move of turning onto a little "island" in the middle of the road, hoping to give her tires some firm ground and friction to work with. The car stopped just as the island was coming to an end, totally demolishing this small piece of landscape, but they were safe. They tried to call my dad and warn him about the ice, but he wasn't picking up his phone. So, in order to make sure he didn't hit it, they moved the car into the center of the road a few feet in front and started honking their horn repeatedly, so that he would have to either hit them or stop in time to not hit the ice. He saw them in time and they were able to go back and spend the rest of the day safe and warm in my house.

It could have been a really scary day for me, but God had my family in his hands. :) I couldn't be more thankful. So in case anyone was in need of a reminder of how amazing our God is.... He's wonderful. He's intangible yet so compassionate. I hope sharing my little miracle can remind y'all of the thousands of millions of "little miracles" that God brings every day. All you have to do is take a look.

I also want to share something I learned this summer at Camp Vesper Point. I always enter the summer ready and impatiently waiting for that crazy spiritual high, and this year it didn't come quite as quickly as usual. I remember being so frustrated and discontent until one night I had a realization. A dear friend of mine out of absolutely nowhere opened up to me about some serious, deep-rooted problems in her life, and she asked me for advice. God spoke through me and gave me the perfect insight and wisdom to comfort her, and I felt the most amazing feeling I'd experienced since arriving. It was then that I realized that I find God in so many ways, but it always leads back to what He said. Helping and loving others.

If you want to have joy, give it to someone else.

Always,
Rach

praying for fran

Dear God,
Please protect my dear friend and pretty much guardian angel you've sent to me this year (although she could have been in my life far before that...grr). Give her strength, wisdom, peace, good spirit, joy, and contentment in you. :) Keep her well and keep her safe. I know she will learn so much, but I'm going to miss her like crazy. She has so much wisdom and such a pure heart totally driven towards you. I envy her, but at the same time am so thankful for her. She teaches me daily. :) You've blessed me with her this year more than she'll ever know, so please bless her trip with the many lessons you have in store for her in Ethiopia!
Always,
Rachel