I feel like it is an absolute, 100% proven fact that we always want what we can't have.
I've specifically noticed this recently with something that I've had in the past, but I never wanted it as badly as I want it right now. Why is that? It's reeeeally bugging me lately, today specifically.
The only thing I can come up with is that I'm not completely as focused on God as I have been recently. It's really strange, but when I come home it's harder for me than at school. I guess that's because I started Samford with the conscious decision to focus on my spiritual walk more than anything else over the next four years...so I've made a lot of great habits that I didn't have in high school. However, when I come home I sink back into my less efficient schedule of studying / talking with the Big Guy.
It's weird. It's like in the back of my head I always know the answer to the things that hurt my heart the most. It always leads back to finding my utter contentment in Jesus and his never failing love... but I continue to think that I can handle it on my own. Or that I want to. I'm such a control freak. Like it's gross. I want to plan my own life's surprises.... I need patience bad. And faith.
God, help me. I'm such a mess it's ridiculous. But you know that because you made me and you're guiding me through everything. Help me to know you have a plan that is so much greater than I could ever imagine. Because I'm real bad about wanting things to go my way. I'm sorry :(
Always,
Rachel
I've specifically noticed this recently with something that I've had in the past, but I never wanted it as badly as I want it right now. Why is that? It's reeeeally bugging me lately, today specifically.
The only thing I can come up with is that I'm not completely as focused on God as I have been recently. It's really strange, but when I come home it's harder for me than at school. I guess that's because I started Samford with the conscious decision to focus on my spiritual walk more than anything else over the next four years...so I've made a lot of great habits that I didn't have in high school. However, when I come home I sink back into my less efficient schedule of studying / talking with the Big Guy.
It's weird. It's like in the back of my head I always know the answer to the things that hurt my heart the most. It always leads back to finding my utter contentment in Jesus and his never failing love... but I continue to think that I can handle it on my own. Or that I want to. I'm such a control freak. Like it's gross. I want to plan my own life's surprises.... I need patience bad. And faith.
God, help me. I'm such a mess it's ridiculous. But you know that because you made me and you're guiding me through everything. Help me to know you have a plan that is so much greater than I could ever imagine. Because I'm real bad about wanting things to go my way. I'm sorry :(
Always,
Rachel
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